Five Unquestionable Truths

If nothing else can be said about my theology, it can be said that it has passed through the fire and pressed in the crucible. Pretty much the only thing that has been constant through the few years that I’ve been a Christian is Jesus, and salvation by grace alone through faith alone. Everything else has seen some sort of change.  However, here is a list of 5 things that I hold to be undebatable:

1) My Grandma is 29 years old.  I know this seems incredible, but ever since I can remember, on her birthday, whenever anyone asked how old she is she would reply “29.” Nevermind the fact that I’m now 24.  She has turned 29 years old every year. Do not question the mysterious ways in which God works. Today was her birthday by the way. She turned 29.

2) Sweet tea isn’t sweet tea unless there is more sugar than tea. This is undebatable. Unless we are in China, in which case I affirm contextualization. Their culture doesn’t recognize the existence of sugar. I am in Louisville right now, however, so I’m putting all restaurants on notice.  If they do not listen, I will send my Grandma after them. At 29 years old, she is not one to be messed with.

3) If two people are walking within the same vicinity, it is necessary that they should attempt to make eye-contact. If they do make contact, you must acknowledge their existence via i) a head nod, ii) a smile, iii) a wave of the hand, iv) a vocalized “hello”, or v) a combination of any of the above. Failure to do so probably means your reprobate.

4) My taste in music is better than yours. You might disagree, but you are wrong.

5) Louisville is not part of the south.  This is easily proven by the lack of fulfilling  unquestionable truths #2 and 3 on this list. They might try and say differently, but I see through their clever ruse.

If any of these things have offended you and your sense of “truth”, take a deep breath and remind yourself that sometimes, its ok to have a little fun.